let's talk

i want to know the truth.

for example: doesn't anyone just answer a message anymore? why do we have to calculate the correct amount of time between message and response? why leave something unanswered? in most situations, that's simply rude. where did all these games come from? even if someone isn't playing the stupid game, time spent waiting for a response is usually spent assuming that they are, and that's just ridiculous.

also: saying that you're done with guys/girls/this person/whatever when it's never true. but we all say it, why? we're not fooling anyone except maybe ourselves (and probably not even that), and if nothing else, saying it out loud only seems to guarantee that we are, inwardly, every bit as devoted to the subject in question whilst outwardly denying said devotion to anyone who will listen in efforts to prove how over it we truly are. because we want to be? because adding a witness factors in accountability and therefore makes it more likely to become true?

it's exhausting, keeping up with all of the rules and timing and double talk. the sad part is, any of my moments of excrutiating honesty have led to nothing, except maybe disappointment. i'm sick of feeling like i'm being anything other than completely real with people.

+++ The Pixies/Surfer Rosa